For years, your vacations may have revolved around school calendars, sports schedules, family budgets, adjoining rooms, amusement parks, and the question every parent eventually gets tired of answering, “What are we doing tomorrow?”
Then, almost suddenly, the kids are grown.
The calendar opens up. The grocery bill changes. You may even have a little more money available for travel than you did 20 years ago. And yet, when someone asks where the two of you want to go? You stare at each other. Welcome to the empty-nest 2nd honeymoon!
This Is Not Your 1st Honeymoon, Part II.
A second honeymoon does not need to involve recreating your original honeymoon, renewing your vows on a beach, or pretending you are newlyweds again, because, let’s face some facts here: You are not the same people you were then. (Nor should you be!)
That is actually the point.
You have built a life together. You have raised kids, changed jobs, managed houses, survived stressful seasons, celebrated milestones, and probably spent a lot of years making decisions based on what everyone else needed.
Now you get to ask a different question: What would WE enjoy now?
Not what the kids would like. Not what works best for a group. Not what gives everyone enough activities to stay entertained.
Just the two of you, and that can feel surprisingly unfamiliar.
You May Have More Travel Budget and Less Planning Energy
There is an interesting thing about this season of life. Many empty nesters are finally in a position to spend a little more on travel, while simultaneously having very little interest in spending 17 evenings comparing hotel reviews. You might be willing to upgrade the room, you probably care more about the nonstop flight than saving $83, you might happily pay for a private transfer instead of figuring out the train system while carrying luggage.
You may want a beautiful resort, a great cruise cabin, a balcony, a fantastic dinner, or an experience you would have skipped when you were traveling with four people instead of two.
But that does not necessarily mean you want to become an amateur travel researcher.
At this stage, the luxury may not only be where you go. It may be how little mental energy it takes to get there.
You Get to Figure Out How You Like to Travel Together
There is another adjustment no one talks about much. Couples can spend decades traveling as parents and still have very different ideas about what makes a great couples trip.
One person wants to sleep late and read by the pool, while the other has already found a walking tour that begins at 7:45 a.m. One wants Europe, and one wants a cruise.One wants “somewhere relaxing.” The other hears “relaxing” and thinks, “So…we’re going to sit there?”
None of this means you are incompatible travelers.
It just means you may need to rediscover your shared travel style now that nobody else is coming along. A good second-honeymoon trip usually has enough shared experiences to make it feel special, while leaving enough breathing room that nobody feels marched through an itinerary.
This Is a Good Time to Upgrade What Matters
When you traveled as a family, the math was different.
2 < The Whole Family
(Two is less than – fill in the blank for the number in your family)
Two nicer airline seats are different from buying five.
One upgraded hotel room is different from booking two rooms for a week.
Dinner for two at the restaurant everyone recommends feels different from looking at the menu and multiplying every entrée by your entire family.
That means your empty-nest years can be a great time to rethink what “worth the splurge” means. Maybe it’s:
- A balcony where you can have coffee together in the morning.
- A smaller ship instead of the biggest one available.
- A room in the middle of town so you can walk everywhere.
- An extra night so the trip does not feel rushed.
- A private excursion.
- Premium seats on a long flight.
Or simply arranging the logistics so that when you arrive, you can start enjoying yourselves instead of solving problems. You do not need to make the entire vacation luxurious. Spend where it changes the experience in a way you both prefer.
You Don’t Need a Major Anniversary as an Excuse
Couples often save trips like this for milestone anniversaries. 25 years. 30 years. 40 years. Those are wonderful reasons to celebrate.
But “the kids are finally launched and we can go somewhere” is also a perfectly respectable occasion. So is Tuesday.
One of the gifts of the empty-nest season is that travel does not always have to happen during spring break, Christmas week, or the exact seven days everyone else’s children are also out of school.
You may have more flexibility to travel in shoulder seasons, stay a little longer, or choose dates based on the destination rather than the school calendar. Use it.
Where Should a Second Honeymoon Be?
There is no official second-honeymoon destination. For some couples, it is Italy. For others, it is an Alaska cruise, an all-inclusive resort, a small Caribbean island, a river cruise, a national park, or finally taking that trip across the country you have talked about for ten years.
The better question is not: Where do empty nesters go?
It is: What kind of trip would feel good to us in this season?
Do you want adventure or ease? A lot to see or very little to do? A destination you have dreamed about for years, or somewhere uncomplicated where you can reconnect?
Do you want to come home with 600 photos? Or do you mostly want to remember long dinners, slow mornings, and conversations that did not get interrupted?
Those answers matter more than anybody’s “Top 10 Romantic Destinations” list.
The Best Part of the Second Honeymoon
Your first honeymoon celebrated the life you were about to build. A second honeymoon gets to celebrate the life you actually built. There is something pretty wonderful about that.
You do not have to travel like newlyweds. You do not have to fill every day. And you definitely do not have to spend six months researching the trip yourself.
You just need somewhere that gives the two of you a chance to enjoy this new season together. The kids will probably survive without you.